Extra Ordinary

i lost my mind last night. i literally snapped, an there was no turning back. i lost control. i loss control so i just thought idgaf & went with it. i honestly don’t think i’ve ever been so low. i’m losing my sanity. i keep telling myself i’m just overly passionate, excessively obsessive… but, at what point is this crazy? i’m crazy. am i crazy? i looked in the mirror this afternoon & i was ashamed of what i saw. everything was a blur. it took awhile for my eyes to adjust because they were so swollen. i thought to myself, “what have i done?” my bottom right lip was itchy & numb, swollen as well. i lost my mind last night & there is no taking it back. & part of me still feels the rage inside. i don’t know. i just don’t know anymore. can i handle this on my own any longer? i don’t want to cry again. i’m not sure what i even have left in me. happiness seems so far away. i’m disappointed in myself because i keep letting you do this to me. i’m disappointed because i keep doing this to myself.